Is this common habit quietly affecting your health? In this episode, Kevin explores the surprising ways adult content consumption can impact your brain, body, and relationships... plus, what you can do if it’s becoming a problem.
Is this common habit quietly affecting your health? In this episode, Kevin explores the surprising ways adult content consumption can impact your brain, body, and relationships... plus, what you can do if it’s becoming a problem.
Get-Fit Guy is hosted by Kevin Don. A transcript is available at Simplecast.
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Hello listeners, I hope everyone is doing well this week. Today I am going to talk about the detrimental effects on health of something a little, maybe not controversial, but I wonder if its a word I can even say on here. I guess I will find out if the big boss guy sends this back and says ‘no’. But Im going to talk about PORNOGRAPHY.
Before that, though, I wanted to touch on something. A few weeks ago, I mentioned that I was looking for some new clients for remote coaching, and I had a few people reach out. Thank you to most who did. One person reached out to me and arranged a Zoom consultation, but I had to cancel my evening plans because of the time difference of 8 hours. I then sat on my own in a Zoom meeting room. That’s right; they asked me for my time, then didn’t show up. I then got busy and couldn’t reach out for about a week, but instead of being confrontational about it, I offered them another call. They said no, they need better communication from someone, and it wouldn’t work out! I replied that yes, probably not because I also have a preference for clients that don’t leave me sitting on my own in a Zoom call, and they said I am passive-aggressive and sarcastic, and that is a red flag apparently. So, I have to say I disagree. I don’t think that telling someone that they did something wrong and calling them out on it is passive-aggressive at all. It’s literally the opposite. It’s also not sarcasm. You don’t get to waste someone's time, then gaslight them that they are wrong and toxic for mentioning it. It's a crazy time we live in that so many people out there have main character syndrome. So, if anyone out there has a deep yearning for a non-passive-aggressive coach and isn’t too camera shy to actually do a Zoom call, then let me know.
Ok, so back to pornography. This episode was inspired really by some research I was doing on ethical banking. I came across a company called ‘Ethical Capital Partners’. I thought oh ok they sound like the ONLY do ethical investments. Wonder what they own…Turns out they own at least 13 pornography websites, under an umbrella company that has been involved in multiple lawsuits from hosting non consensual content to child sex trafficking. Honestly blows my mind that a company can be involved in such sordid immoral practices and call itself ‘Ethical Capital Partners’. This got me to contemplating all of the moral problems of the porn industry but also thinking about how I can not get fired from this podcast and somehow turn that into an episode about the effects of porn on health. So here we go…
One of the most well-documented physical health effects of excessive pornography consumption is its link to sexual dysfunction, especially in men. Studies have found that individuals who watch pornography frequently experience erectile dysfunction (ED), also known as “porn-induced ED.” This happens when sexual arousal becomes tied to the stimuli provided by pornography, making it difficult to become aroused in real-life sexual situations. The brain’s reward system adjusts to high levels of stimulation from pornography, the individual may struggle to respond to a partner’s touch or other real-world sexual cues. This can lead to feelings of frustration, embarrassment, and a sense of inadequacy, further deepening the emotional impact of pornography use on mental health.
Next up is addiction. Just like substance use, porn can become addictive. For some people, the repeated exposure to porn may result in a cycle of compulsive behaviour. Much like the brain’s reward system is altered through repeated exposure, individuals may develop a psychological dependence on pornography to experience pleasure or cope with emotional distress. This addiction can lead to physical symptoms such as fatigue, headaches, and difficulty concentrating, as the brain becomes worn down from the constant stimulation. People often end up seeing therapists or counsellors to break free from the addiction, just as they would with substance addiction.
One of the most concerning consequences of pornography use is the increase in anxiety and depression. Studies have shown that those who use pornography experience feelings of shame, guilt, or confusion, which can lead to an overwhelming sense of anxiety. This comes from a variety of feelings, including feeling disconnected from reality, objectifying people in real life, or struggling with a perceived loss of control over their behaviour.
The shame associated with using pornography often manifests as negative self-talk, which can erode self-esteem and foster feelings of worthlessness. Over time, this self-loathing can become a cycle that only deepens, bringing about more anxiety and depression, especially if someone feels trapped in the habit of consuming pornography but struggles to quit. It’s important to note also that these feelings are not just limited to the consumption of pornography itself, but also to the nature of the content, which can often depict unhealthy relationships and unrealistic expectations of sexual intimacy.
The next thing is something that I am always thinking about in a philosophical way, and that is reality not being real. Pornography does not depict reality at all. It instead depicts an idealised, unrealistic version of sexuality, with exaggerated body types, performances, and scenarios that don’t reflect real-life experiences. This warped, simulated depiction of sexual relationships can lead to distorted cognition about what sex and relationships should look like. For instance, people may come to expect immediate sexual gratification, fail to appreciate the nuances of intimacy, or internalise harmful stereotypes about gender roles and expectations. If you have ever had the displeasure of using an online dating app, you’ll know what I mean. First of all, it’s like the hills have eyes on there, secondly, no I don’t want to come over and be the big spoon, I haven’t even met you.
This cognitive difference with reality leads to a view of relationships, where love and emotional connection can be overshadowed by a desire for just physical pleasure. Over time, people may struggle to form genuine, lasting emotional bonds with others, feeling as though real-life sex and relationships aren’t as fulfilling as those portrayed in pornography.
Finally, for some people, pornography can escalate into infidelity, as the consumption of pornography may be seen as a form of “cheating” by their partner. In relationships where one partner uses pornography secretly or excessively, the other partner may feel betrayed or deceived, even if no physical infidelity occurs. Or even where one partner feels unattractive because they are not preferred to pornography use.
These feelings of betrayal and inferiority can lead to serious relationship breakdowns, including divorce or separation. The emotional damage caused often takes a long time to heal and can leave lasting scars on both people involved. Even when both partners are aware of and accept pornography use in the relationship, it can still create tension and dissatisfaction, leading to communication breakdowns or a diminished sense of closeness.
If you find that any of this sounds familiar to you, then, just as I would with any form of addiction, I would encourage you to look into useful ways to resolve the issue, such as therapy.
As usual, if you have any questions or would like to just say ‘hi’, please email me at getfitguy@quickanddirtytips.com
Get-Fit Guy is a Quick and Dirty Tips podcast. Thanks to the team at Quick and Dirty Tips Morgan Christianson, Holly Hutchings, the director of podcasts Brannan Goetschius and Davina Tomlin. I’m your host, Kevin Don. If you have a question for me, leave me a voicemail at 510-353-3104 or send me an email at getfitguy@quickanddirtytips.com. For more information about the show, visit quickanddirtytips.com, or check out the shownotes in your podcast app